Ten things not to say to your friends with kids

I read an article yesterday about things not to say to your child-free friends and it has bothered me until today because I find, that those who are most insensitive to the whole "children" issue are people who don't have them. I get offensive and rude comments all the time about things that are completely beyond my control, or unsolicited advice that is first rude, and second unnecessary.

#1 "oh you're a stay at home mom, didn't you want a career/to get an education/ your life must be so easy"

this one drives me crazy and I get it all the time in every form. I know that there will always be time for work later but my children will only be children for so long and that statistical proof for the benefits of at home parenting far outweigh any benefit of me working until my child is in school. I did get an education, thanks, and I'm smart enough to know what is best for my child. If you think parenting is easy go have a talk with your parent because my job is 24/7 there are no lunch breaks, no sick days, no vacation days, no end of year or Christmas bonuses. in fact I read a wonderful quote that I totally agree with, "mother: someone who does the work of 20 people for free.

#2 "you must love/hate changing diapers"
I was a nurse before I had my son and I'm going to share a secret, everybody poops! and weather you're 8months or 80 some people need help with that, if I had a disabled son would you say that?

#3 "why can't you just get a sitter?"
Because responsible trustworthy people are not just falling out of thin air onto my doorstep begging me to let them watch my kid so I can attend your party. As if I would leave my child with just anyone so I can do what YOU want.

#4 "when are you going to have another?"
this one is just offensive, some people have trouble conceiving in between kids. My son wasn't even a month old before we started getting this one and the decision to go through another round of sleepless nights hormonal highs and lows, and a child's absolute dependence on you and you alone has been a difficult and heart-wrenching decision which is mine and mine alone to make and you have no right asking about it, and if I weren't a pastors wife what I would love to say is, "we're gonna go try to conceive now wanna come cheer for us?"

#5 " why is your baby crying?"
Good question, but since he is unable to express himself in any other way, your guess is as good as mine until I try a few things.

#6 "didn't you want to travel and see the world before you had kids?"
guess what, I did travel and see the world before I had kids. I've been to italy and sung in st. Marks basilica, I've been to australia and performed in the Sydney opera house and you know who was right beside me on every one of those trips, my parents. Having kids doesn't preclude you from seeing the world, it means you have more traveling buddies

#7 " you should/shouldn't (insert unwanted advice here)"
you should not give people advice on kids that don't belong to you. I witnessed a woman telling a young lady at walmart today that she should have dressed the kids warmer and didn't she care that they were going to get sick, to which the young lady responded, well since I'm a pediatrician, yes I do know illness risks for children and it being cold outside isn't one of them. You have no idea who the person you are giving your advice to is or who their kids are.

#8 "why can't some people discipline/control their kids"
My son threw a fit today in walmart because the line we were in took us a half an hour to get through and he missed his nap. This is completely beyond my control and I'm not leaving a store I had to drive 20 minutes to get to and waited a half an hour to buy my groceries at just because you don't like that my kid is crying. I am doing all I can to calm him but sometimes you have to wait out the storm. as far as disciplining a child, I've watched people call CPS on parents for smacking their kid when the grabbed for something unsafe in a store so there is no winning this one and honestly, as a parent, sometimes you're too angry/frustrated to be disciplining your child, you should never discipline a child out of anger, only out of necessity.

#9 "why can't you just bring him/her"
because your house, party place isn't childproofed, or there will be a lot of people and I wont feel that it's safe enough for me to let him walk around, or the restaurant you picked isn't child friendly, or it's during his nap time, or he's teething and especially fussy and I'm trying to spare those who don't like kids or their crying, or it would take me two hours to get there with a kid who doesn't like being strapped into a carseat, or I'd have to bring his portable crib and his highchair and a change of clothes and diapers and it's really not worth the effort. Pick your reason, I can't just drop everything to be where you want me.

#10 " I totally understand how hard parenting is"
No. you. don't. if you want to try, go talk to your parents